In a shocking announcement this morning, scientists at the Benton Coldwater research facility, deep underneath Geneva, claim to have captured evidence of a non-author twitter user. Though it may be many months before independent confirmation is provided, other research teams are already applying for grants that will help them do just that.
The team was startled when their twitter screen suddenly displayed that holy grail of researchers everywhere, a non-book tweet. ‘Thinking of getting some blueberries…’ the electrifying missive declared. “We almost missed it,” admitted senior researcher, Howard Anthidae, “but now that we’ve led the way, it will be up to others to re-create the conditions and prove us right or wrong.”
“Our lab under Sudbury may be just the ticket,” enthused senior Canadian researcher Tim Wharton. “Many have claimed such a user to be a theoretical impossibility, often going so far as to compare them to leprechauns, elves or honest politicians. Once we have the funding to buy a computer, we’ll get to work on filtering out the book tweets. We just do the pure science,” he added. “It will be up to the business world to figure out how to monetize it.”